All of us can sometimes behave in bad ways, so don’t immediately diagnose a person as inherently toxic if he or she has been inappropriate in a conversation with you. However, there are signs by which you can tell that your friend or colleague is indeed a toxic person. So, how can you spot one if you feel like you have had uneasy interactions? First hint: that already is a sign the person might be toxic.
Have you ever had the experience of leaving an unpleasant aftertaste – a feeling of alienation, psychological discomfort and even a headache – after interacting with certain people? There is a type of person who unconsciously sucks energy from those around them, often without realizing it. Such people are also called “energy vampires” or simply toxic people. They gossip a lot, are often angry and sarcastic, and love emotional tension and create it all around them. And they often complain about life and never admit their mistakes.
So, here are a few signs by which you can expose a toxic interlocutor:
- When you meet them, they make a very positive impression, but as a rule, over time, they start to behave differently.
- They often choose “aggressor-victim” communication tactics. The likelihood of using it increases if they feel confident when talking to others.
- As a rule, they are not interested in what is going on in the life of the interlocutor; they focus attention only on their own experiences.
- it is impossible to hear a positive comment from them.
- They impose their opinion, even if no one asks for it.
- Can gossip with you today, and tomorrow with another person, but already about you.
- Very jealous but never admit it.
- Have very low self-esteem, so prefer to assert themselves at the expense of others.
9. They understand that people don’t perceive reality the way they do, so they try to explain (prove) how bad everything is.
10. Always embellish conflict situations, adding drama and often leading to a scandal.
- Love to be offended and show their resentment in every possible way.
- Fear responsibility.
- Criticize what others are doing. They judge harshly what others have done wrong.
- Lie a lot even when they don’t have to.
- There is only one correct opinion-their own. The others are wrong.
- They look for any opportunity to dump their emotions on others. You can’t predict what will cause them to react negatively.
- When dealing with these people you feel uncomfortable, uptight, tense for no apparent reason.
How Do People Become Toxic?
As we know (and psychologists talk about it tirelessly), everything comes from childhood. The cause of a toxic character can be childhood psychological traumas, which, however, were not necessarily accompanied by violence or bullying.
For example, a trauma can be any process that strongly influenced the person in childhood and was repeated cyclically. Since the psyche at an early age is not yet formed, something in a person’s life was too much, or, conversely, was not enough.
On the formation of the character, of course, affects the upbringing and the emotional atmosphere in the family: the latter, being unfavorable, can greatly affect the child’s psyche. Also, according to psychologists, the cause of the toxic character can be genetic predisposition, birth trauma or pathology.